Crystal's Notes 12 July

In many Asian workplaces, giving feedback, especially upwards, can feel impossible. It doesn’t have to be this way. There are culturally sensitive, psychologically safe ways to speak up without triggering defensiveness or loss of face.

Here’s how I teach it in my training programmes:

1. Be mindful of timing and context.
If your stakeholder tends to be defensive or easily rattled, choose a moment when they’re more open, ideally in a private 1-to-1.

2. Use feedforward, not feedback.
Talk about what can be improved going forward, rather than what went wrong in the past. This shift makes the conversation feel more collaborative, not confrontational. Another way is to reframe the feedback to asking for advice, which is an advanced level skill.

3. Acknowledge and validate.
Before offering any suggestion, show appreciation for their past efforts or contributions.

4. Ask for permission to be candid.
This creates buy-in and lowers resistance. It also signals that you’re not there to attack, but to contribute.

5. Use in-grouping language.
Instead of saying, “You don’t let people speak,” say, “Can we explore how we can bring out the quieter voices at our meetings?”

Framing and language matter. And when done well, influence doesn’t have to come at the cost of harmony. The skills I teach help people move past bottlenecks, navigate difficult stakeholders, and create cultures where feedback flows in every direction. If you'd like to learn how to apply these techniques in real conversations, come join my training programmes. We break down the skills, practise them together, and make them work for your context.

Much love

Crystal