Crystal's Notes 13 Dec

In my work with leaders and teams, I’ve noticed something consistent: the people who struggle most with boundaries at work often have difficulty setting them at home too, especially with their parents.

Emotional enmeshment is common, especially in Asia. 

If you’ve grown up in a household where guilt is used to control decisions, where privacy isn’t respected, or where your emotional needs were minimised, chances are high you’ll carry those habits into the workplace.

You may say yes when you mean no. You may avoid direct conversations. You may take on more than your fair share, and silently resent it. Or you may try to fix everyone’s problems, at the cost of your own energy.

In high-pressure workplaces, it’s easy to reward over-functioners. They are the ones who keep saying yes, taking on more, absorbing everyone else’s stress. But that’s a fast track to burnout.

Here’s what I tell clients:

• You get to choose what conversations you want to have and how deep you go.
  

• You get to steer the tone, even when you don’t control the room.
  

• You get to protect your capacity without guilt.
  

The most effective leaders I’ve worked with know how to regulate their emotions in real time, even when others around them don’t. They don’t spiral when someone else does. They don’t over-explain, or over-absorb. They stay anchored.

That’s a skill, and one that I teach. Join us to learn how you can lead and be visible, without burning out. 

Much love,

Crystal