Crystal's Notes 16 Feb

The life you want is often on the other side of discomfort. Whether it’s changing careers, moving cities, or speaking up when it matters, big decisions can feel terrifying.

On my podcast this week, I spoke to Lennard Yeung, an engineer-turned-chef-turned-content-creator, who has built an incredible career by leaning into his curiosity and willingness to pivot.

Discomfort & Growth

Lennard overcame his “extreme introvert” tendencies to become one of the most well known Singaporean content creators. He recalled one defining moment early in his media career when he was told to approach random people at a food centre and interview them about their food. It sounded like his worst nightmare, but he did it anyway. And after getting through that nerve-wracking experience, everything else became easier because he realised he could train himself to override his fear.

So many people resist change because it’s uncomfortable. But the truth is, discomfort is often the price of growth. The more you push past those initial moments of fear, the more you’d realise what once felt impossible can become second nature.

Navigating Conflict

Lennard’s experience of pushing past his comfort zone reminded me of a question from someone in the community about navigating a conflict with her husband, who was opposed to relocating.

Without going into a full workshop about conflict resolution here, here is a practical framework inspired by the Non Violent Communication (NVC) model, one of the best models for mediation and conflict resolution.

When major life decisions, like a career move or relocation cause tension, it’s easy to get stuck in opposition. But meaningful resolution starts with understanding.

Step 1: Pinpoint Feelings, Needs & Assumptions

In this case, let’s use the example of the husband and wife who can’t see eye to eye on relocating for work.

Begin by considering the perspectives of both parties:

• Husband’s perspective: Fear, anxiety, prioritising children’s education, and believing that staying in Singapore is best.

• Wife’s perspective: Frustration, feeling stagnant, valuing ambition and growth, and assuming that overseas opportunities are necessary for career progression.

Step 2: Express Feelings, Needs & Values

Instead of immediately defending your stance, acknowledge each other’s feelings and clarify assumptions in a safe and supportive way.  This might sound like:

"I hear that when I bring up relocation, you feel anxious. Is it because education is your priority for the kids? I value their education too, but I also feel disappointed when I’m not growing in my career. Growth is one of my top values. Can we explore ways to honour both?"

Step 3: Collaborative Problem Solving

Rather than taking a all-or-nothing approach, brainstorm options together that meet the needs of both parties. Here are some examples of options that couples may come up with during the brainstorming process:

• Change mindset: Kids will get to learn important life skills and cultural intelligence through this move overseas, and this will give them advantages in life

• Test overseas living during school holidays before making a final decision.

• Negotiate work arrangements to allow for partial relocation.

• Research ways to maintain a child’s school placement while living abroad.

• Agree on which are the important schooling years and agree to move back before then

• Connect with friends who have navigated similar decisions.

It is important for both parties to take ownership for solving the issue, and not have one party come up with all the proposals and solutions.

Whether it’s career shifts or major life decisions, the key is to understand what truly matters to you and create space for solutions that honour those values.

If navigating difficult conversations or stepping into change feels overwhelming, we’re here to help. Our workshops provide the tools to build emotional awareness, communicate with confidence, and step into your personal power. Join us to learn how to navigate life’s turning points with clarity and conviction.

Much love

Crystal