Crystal's Notes 18 Jan

In Asia, the cultural nuance of “saving face” adds an extra layer of complexity to how we approach difficult conversations, especially those that involve constructive criticism or conflict resolution. Balancing assertiveness with respect is an art, and it’s one that can transform the way we work and lead.

The Three Principles of Effective Communication:

1. Know Your Audience: Tailor your message based on the recipient. Are you speaking to a boss, peer, or direct report? In Asia, where hierarchy is significant, softening your message while maintaining boundaries helps.

2. Understand Their Style: Consider the personality and communication style of the person you’re addressing. Are they detail-oriented and anxious about risks, or are they more focused on vision and big-picture goals? Speaking in a way that resonates with their perspective increases the chances of alignment.

3. It’s Not Just What You Say: Your tone and body language matter as much as your words. Ensure your delivery reflects the intention behind your message.

Practical Tips for Handling Difficult Workplace Communications:

• When Giving Feedback to a Defensive Employee: Feedback can feel threatening if not handled well. If it is about the report’s performance, begin by asking him or her to do a self-assessment. Ask, “How would you rate your work on this task on a scale of 1-10?” Then show examples of what a higher standard looks like and provide clear rubrics for success. This encourages reflection without triggering defensiveness.

• When Managing Toxic Behaviour: If someone in your team is sowing discord, address the entire group first. Acknowledge frustrations, emphasise professionalism, and open the floor for feedback. Then, speak to the individual privately. Highlight that success isn’t just about what they do, but how they do it, and this includes their collaboration skills and professionalism.

• Handling Conflict Between Direct Reports: If Employee A complains about Employee B, always ask, “Have you spoken to B about this?” Encourage A to provide direct feedback to B — it’s part of building a high-performance team culture. If they’re reluctant, coach them on how to give constructive feedback, but make it clear that avoiding the conversation isn’t an option unless there’s an extenuating circumstance like harassment.

In my Deep Human Leadership and Deep Human Influence masterclasses, we go deep into conflict resolution, giving feedback, and managing difficult dynamics — all critical skills for professionals who want to elevate their leadership and foster a thriving team culture.

Speak, Lead, and Believe in Yourself

This February, we’re also offering transformative workshops to help you harness the power of your voice:

1. Don’t miss the 5th and 6th rounds of Inspired Speaking by Petrina Kow — a full-day, intensive workshop that has sold out every single time we run it! Sharpen your speaking skills, and learn to captivate any audience with authentic, impactful stories.

2. Join us at the B.R.A.V.E Speaking Workshop, led by special guest facilitator Adrian Williams-Brett from Australia. An accomplished actor, counsellor, and senior facilitator with the Hoffman Process, Adrian will guide you in this half-day session to harness your voice as a powerful tool for connection and influence, while helping you embody your message with confidence and energy.

3. Also by Adrian Williams-Brett is a half-day Self-Sabotage to Self-Love Workshop. This session examines the beliefs that shape how you show up in life. Uncover the roots of self-sabotaging behaviours and learn practical tools to rebuild from a place of authenticity and self-compassion.

Mastering the art of communication and overcoming internal barriers are game-changers in both work and life. Here’s to creating meaningful connections and inspiring leadership!

Much love
Crystal