Crystal's Notes 17 February 2024

Dear Community

It must have been so hard if you were passed over for a promotion.

I know this because many people shared with me about how disappointed they were at not getting promoted this year. I did a reel about the subject, but I wanted to expand on the steps I spoke about to give more support to those who are affected. If you’re feeling uncertain about your next steps, here’s how you can deal with the situation.

Step 1: Pause & Focus On Emotional Self-Regulation

Do not be reactive and make decisions in the heat of the moment. It would be so important at this point to just hit pause and work on emotional self-regulation.

Try to notice what you are feeling, and name it. Avoid passing judgment or analysing your feelings at this stage. Aim to just have full awareness of each emotion that is influencing you and journal what comes to mind. Naming our emotions can help to lessen the burden they create. It also allows us to take a step back, and make better choices as to what we can do with our feelings.

Mindfulness practices should also be prioritised. They not only enhance awareness of your thoughts and feelings, but simple techniques like breath control can calm you and steer your actions in a more positive direction.

Very importantly, I want you to extend kindness and compassion to yourself. Tap into your inner coach and not your inner critic. If your best friend were going through the same situation, what would you say or do? Reflect on the issue from a place of loving kindness to yourself. Write a heartfelt letter of comfort to yourself, give yourself some encouragement and support like you would for your best friend.

You can also work at reframing negative thoughts. Instead of thinking, “No one sees my value here, my boss must think I’m not good enough,” reframe it with an alternative like, “I will use this as an opportunity to find out what else I can do to grow here.”

Step 2: Schedule A Discussion

Once things have settled a bit, schedule an appointment with your boss. This is not so that you can initiate a confrontation! Instead, think of it as a career development discussion. Ask about the skills and behaviours that you need to display or work on to be on track for a promotion. You can also express your disappointment about not being promoted, so that your intentions are made clear.

Do this calmly — it is important to have this conversation with the appropriate tone. For example, even if you really want to say, “I do so much work, and it is so unfair that I never ever get promoted,” say, “I appreciate the opportunities I've had here. I'm eager to take on more responsibility and contribute at a higher level, which is why I hope we can discuss what I need to do in order to be considered for a promotion."

If you receive feedback that seems negative, remember that powerful and confident people do not get defensive. Shift from defensiveness to curiosity and interest in your growth.

Step 3: Take Action

Network, reach out to people or departments that are doing well, and explore lateral transfers. Ask yourself what skills are desperately needed now, and sign up for skills training that will make you more valuable.

Also, you have to get really good at talking about the value you bring, because if you cannot describe it, no one will. If you need help with speaking up for yourself, our Authenticity & Authority Masterclass Series will help you find your voice. You can also create what the Americans call a brag book, or what I call a master career tracker file, so that you can show the company what you bring to the table.

It is awful to feel unappreciated, and I hope this will help you in the year ahead. But most of all, I want you to remember that no one can take your power, knowledge and skills away and make you feel “less than” who you are, no matter what they do or say. Your value goes beyond any appraisal or promotion.

Your work bestie is always here for you!

Much love,

Crystal