Crystal's Notes - 2nd December 2023

Dear Community

It has been so exciting for me to get your DMs and see your stories about how you are receiving and using our I Am Well journals. Many are starting to do their year in review and updating me about the process and their thoughts. This is the section where we prepare for the new year by reviewing the past year, and we record highlights, milestones and memories before setting intentions and goals ahead. What we record we remember, and this shapes our destiny. Rachel and I deeply believe in this exercise and that was why we included it in the journal. 

I was honestly quite blown away by the experiences many had shared while they were doing this. One in particular was a message from a follower about how she found herself unable to pen anything in the section as it had been a painful year. She had teared uncontrollably when she tried to pen her thoughts because she felt that even though there was growth, it was also a year in which she felt had been ‘wasted’. She felt shame and guilt at things she failed at, and at the many things she felt she had not achieved. And because of all that, she didn’t think she could plan for the year ahead, because she feared it so much. 

My heart broke for her. 

I reposted it to share my thoughts, and the outpouring of support from the community was incredible. We are truly a safe space for each other, and it brings me so much joy to see how we have each other’s back.

We first made sure she knew she was not alone in this. We reminded her that there is courage and resilience in facing the wilderness, in not giving up, and in making an attempt to try. We sent hugs and well wishes. We let her know that she was seen and heard. 

I want to say too that if you are feeling the same while doing the exercise, take baby steps. Find 5 minutes to go through your photo album or calendar to jot down the highlights. Take your time with this. You can do one box a day. Don’t feel the need to rush it. It is your life and it is valuable, so every moment of it counted for something. Nothing in life is ever wasted if you are self-aware, as everything and everyone can be our teacher. At some point in life, we will look back even on the worst of times and say, “Even so, thank you for the lessons. They made me who I am today.” Also, make sure that when you’re looking at your journal, you are using kind eyes and not critical ones. Ask yourself too whose eyes you are evaluating your life through. Sometimes when we grow up with critical voices around us, we internalise them and it is a form of self-harm and internalised violence to our tender spirit. 

To anyone who needs to see this today: shame and guilt keep us small for who we are meant to be. You do not need to do anything, prove anything or be anything to be worthy.  Instead, see how far you have come. Look not at the gap but at the gain. 

We’re doing the best we can to grow and lead a meaningful life that is true to us – however we define it to be. So, stand steadfast in the authority of your own truth, not someone else’s. If we are just measuring ourselves by how fast we make the outcome and the gap between now and our final destination, then we are missing out on the entire point of life. Life is about the journey, the enquiry, the growth, the expansion, and ultimately, the legacy we leave behind through our generosity and wisdom. 

Don’t keep yourself small for who you are meant to be. Come alive. Forgive yourself too for your mistakes, if you’ve made them. It is okay to be naïve, overly-eager, inexperienced and all the rest of it. Your mistakes are indicators that you’re out of your comfort zone. And that is great because when you’re comfortable, you’re never growing. And when you’re growing, it is never comfortable. 

Understand too the importance of seasons. We all go through different seasons in life. Some are for growing, some are for reaping, some are for rest and regeneration. I was made to feel small and different when I gave up my banking career to take care of my young children. It wasn’t easy feeling like I had to sacrifice career or my kids. But there are no right or wrong choices in life. There are only ‘right for now’ choices, and that decision I made meant the world for me and my kids, and that was all that mattered. 

A follower said it so well when she shared how there are years that ask questions and years that answer. Life really is a journey of constant, constant recalibration and seeking that dynamic balance. So let us celebrate our lives and reclaim what milestones and success means as something we internally define. Let us know too that not every year can be a peak year. There are periods when we are really thrown for life and only later on in hindsight, we realise it was a time of finding, searching, yearning and surrender. Reconnecting to self-compassion and making space for all of what we have been through, no matter good or bad, is so important. This is all part of the human experience that we cannot skip. 

To the dear follower who shared something so vulnerable with so much courage, I thank you for taking steps to make your tomorrows better. Please know that you have a whole community behind you. You are so seen and supported. Please let yourself off the hook. Forgive yourself. Your years of answers will come.

And to YOU, my community, thank you for always being there for yourself and each other, and for wanting to do better than yesterday. You bring me so much joy and I am so proud of the space we have built together. Thank you for being here, and thank you for being you. You are the highlight of my year!

P.S: If you have an order of 10 or more copies, we have reserved stock for bulk orders, please email [email protected] with your order qty and we can fulfil it within a week!

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