- Crystal Lim-Lange’s Newsletter
- Posts
- Crystal's Weekend Notes - 22 April 2023
Crystal's Weekend Notes - 22 April 2023
Look more competent instantly!
Crystal Lim-Lange
April 22, 2023
Super hack - How to look more competent!
Yesterday I went to the hair dresser and I was multitasking on a conference call, so I just told the guy to give me “something a bit shorter with more volume”. And to my horror, he chopped off 5 inches and I ended up with an unexpected girly bob haircut. Which was TOTALLY my fault, because I was being extremely vague with my instructions!
And this is ironic, because this week I had just made a viral video about the underrated super power of being specific.
When you are able to articulate what you mean clearly, using precise language or specific examples, you immediately come across as more competent, a better communicator and more thoughtful.
Let’s look at some easy ways to level up:
When praising someone:
Vague praise: “Great job!” - that is an easy compliment to toss out, but what would be even more meaningful is….
Specific praise:
“I loved how you took the extra effort to incorporate this additional piece of analysis into the report, we didn’t ask for it but the fact that you did it shows your initiative”
When giving feedback:
Vague feedback:
“You don’t seem to listen when I talk.”
Specific feedback:
“In our team meeting this morning, you interrupted me when I was speaking twice. It may not have been your intention, but that was distracting for me.”
When giving instructions at work:
Vague directions:
“I think we need like a nice flyer to advertise our event. Do you know how to make flyers?”
Specific directions:
“I’ve found some examples of flyers that are similar to what I would like. Here they are - as you can see, they all have bold colours, minimalist sans serif font and less text.”
Writing that made me think :
“When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of ‘getting to know you,’ questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject?
And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, ‘
‘Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before:
‘I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.’
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could ‘Win’ at them.”
What I’m listening to:
I was totally obsessed with this queen Tori Amos when I was a teen, and I just started watching her live performances again after decades. Such a nostalgic walk down memory lane and her powerhouse voice and piano skills make her a one of a kind legend.
Our virtual masterclasses are starting coming Monday and Weds!
Last chance to join us to learn about improving your communication, confidence and self-mastery skills! ! As a subscriber to Crystal’s Notes, use code EXCLUSIVE5 upon checkout from the Eventbrite pages linked below for an extra 5% off your tickets.
Have a great weekend and I hope to see you soon!
x,
C
Find My Socials
Instagram: @crystallimlange
Tik Tok: @crystallimlange
LinkedIn: Crystal Lim-Lange