Crystal's Notes 11 April

I get asked this question a lot: How do you deal with colleagues who seem to be on your side, but disappear when it actually matters?

They agree with you in private. They nod along in meetings. But the moment you need them to back you up in front of leadership, they go quiet. Or worse, they say something entirely different to what they told you.

You've probably experienced this. Someone who commits to providing input on your project, then never delivers. Someone who says "yes, absolutely" in a one-on-one, then hedges in the room where it counts.

Here's what I've learned: you cannot rely on verbal alignment.

With these types of people, you shouldn't take their word for anything unless they have committed to something extremely specific and you've documented it. Instead of saying "okay, so we are aligned," you say "great, let's put down exactly what I will own and what you will own, and the timelines."

Move everything into visible commitments. Email summaries. Meeting minutes. Tracked action items.

And if they try to be funny about it, you call it out directly: "I may be misunderstanding. Previously, in our call on Thursday, we aligned on X according to my meeting notes. Has something changed?"

But here's the deeper truth: the best protection against false advocates isn't documentation. It's social capital.

Social capital is the trust, goodwill, and credibility you build with people before you ever need to use it. It's the relationships you invest in before you need a favour. The reputation you build before you need someone to vouch for you. The presence you cultivate before you need to be taken seriously in a room.

Most people only start thinking about influence when they're already in trouble. When they need buy-in, support, or visibility. But by then, it's often too late.

The leaders who navigate workplace politics most effectively aren't the most aggressive or the most strategic. They're the ones who show up with gravitas. A quiet, grounded authority that makes people want to be in their corner before they even ask.

That's what we build in Deep Human Influence, our masterclass in influencing, gravitas, and navigating work politics. You'll learn how to communicate with charisma and clarity, handle tough conversations with confidence, and build the kind of social capital that protects you long before you need it.

Because in the workplace, your influence is your insurance. You can find all the details here.

We also have other transformative programmes coming up. Deep Human Leadership is our 2-day immersive workshop on self-awareness, self-mastery, and mastering people skills, designed for leaders navigating rapid change who want to connect more deeply with their teams. We also host two virtual practice sessions afterward so you can integrate what you've learned with ongoing guidance (Newly Released).

And Deep Human Confidence, our practical masterclass where we help you find your authentic voice, overcome imposter syndrome, and build the kind of grounded presence that people feel when you walk into a room.

Much love,

Crystal