Crystal's Notes 25 April

Most people treat their 1-on-1 with their boss as a status update.

They walk in, run through their task list, answer whatever questions come up, and walk out. And just like that, fifteen minutes passes and the meeting becomes a missed opportunity.

Here's what I've learned: your 1-on-1 is not an admin meeting. It's your highest-return hour in the entire working week.

It is the one moment where you have your manager's undivided attention without a roomful of colleagues to compete with and without an agenda set by someone else. It’s just you, your boss, and however long you have together.

Unfortunately, most people waste it.

The issue isn't showing up unprepared – most people do prepare. The issue is preparing the things that keep them in the passenger seat. They come with open-ended questions, vague updates, and ambiguous requests for feedback like "how am I doing?" or "is there anything I should be working on?"

These questions put all the thinking onto your manager. They signal that you're waiting to be led rather than stepping up to lead yourself.

Here's what intentional 1-on-1s look like instead:

Go in with a specific ask. Instead of "I'd love more visibility", ask "I'd like to take on the next team presentation. Is that something we could explore?"

Bring an insight – something you've observed, a trend you've noticed, an idea you've been developing. Show your manager how you think, not just what you do.

Ask about alignment – "Here are my priorities this quarter. Does this reflect what you need from me?" This shows strategic awareness and saves you from working hard in the wrong direction.

Talk about your growth – "I've been working on developing my ability to communicate across senior stakeholders. Are there opportunities coming up where I could practice this?"

This is self-advocacy, and it is one of the most powerful things you can do for your career.

But here's the truth: most people don't show up this way because they don't feel confident enough to.

They worry about coming across as too ambitious, or they second-guess their ideas before voicing them. Then they end up leaving the meeting having said only a fraction of what they actually wanted to say.

This is exactly what we work on in Deep Human Confidence. Our participants consistently leave with the confidence to have these conversations – with their bosses, their stakeholders, and the decision-makers in their lives. They learn to speak with clarity, advocate for themselves without guilt, and build the kind of presence that makes people take them seriously.

Because the right conversation with the right person at the right moment can change the entire trajectory of your career.

You can find all the details here. 

We also have our newly released Deep Human Confidence Virtual Workshop, where we help you rewire the beliefs holding you back and give you the practical tools to speak up, stand out, and be taken seriously. It is held over two sessions, delivers real breakthroughs, and goes far deeper than surface skills.

Much love,

Crystal